


Moonlight Sonata

by glxykpop



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Ancient History, Ancient Japan, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, M/M, stealth!chansoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:40:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23618386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glxykpop/pseuds/glxykpop
Summary: Many women like to believe he dances for them. Others think it is purely for entertainment or the performance of a ceremony. But Kai dances solely for the god that taught him how to.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 13
Kudos: 28





	Moonlight Sonata

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally written for the Timeline ExoPress fic fest on twitter but after I sent my work to them, I haven't heard from the fest in quite a long time. After consulting with a few people, I believe that it's now ok for me to post this despite it being written for the fest as I really wanted it to see the light despite everything. I hope this somehow manages to find it's way to the prompter despite the fest seeming to have stopped.  
> I really hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it!

Kai knows he was on time. He also knows that the boy he’s been partnered with was late on three different counts earlier in the dance too. So, when Kai arrives at his set place in the centre with his arm raised in challenge and his partner isn’t there to meet him, he knows it isn’t his fault. As the teacher turns to him with an angry look in his eyes, Kai naturally prickles in response.

“You must adjust to your partner Kaito!” Comes the first blow. Kai tries not to flinch at the impact of his full name as the harsh words land. “You are responsible for this performance, just as he is. I know you noticed him falling behind, why don’t you try to compensate for his errors and preserve the performance?”

The teacher pauses, as if he’s daring Kai to respond to talk back and challenge his decisions. Tears prick at the corners of Kai’s eyes as he stares up at his teacher.

“So, I have to be worse? If I dance properly, the show will get messed up, so I have to be worse at the routine. I don’t want to be worse. Why can’t they be better?” Kai’s not able to hold back his words and they spill from his lips before he can catch them. The teacher’s eyes darken in response and Kai almost instantly regrets his words.

“Now you most certainly should know better than to question what your teacher tells you how to better yourself. You will never live up to your father’s legacy if you do not follow the advice of your teachers.” It feels like a punch to the gut whenever his father is mentioned. The angry tears threaten to spill over. Not knowing what to do, he turns and runs from the hall.

Ignoring the desperate shouts of his name and the complaints of his teacher, Kai flees in any direction away from the hall. Disappearing into the nearby forest, he follows the trail for a little while, running at a fast-enough pace he knows he won’t be caught. There’s a break in the trees on his left and he takes it, not wanting to be found just yet. The grass and small brush around his ankles is still soft enough that he isn’t regretting his simple slippers from practice. He wanders for a little while, not choosing any direction except to avoid any of the tall plants between the trees. Unsure of how long he’s been away from the hall or how far away from the hall he actually is, when Kai stumbles across a grove. The sunlight is dappled through the overhanging leaves and Kai finds a comfortable spot at the foot of one of the trees to sit and rest.

He settles into his spot leaning back onto the tree and takes in his surroundings. The grove he’s chosen is certainly pretty, but it doesn’t look like it’s visited very often. Generally, the plants are undisturbed, and they’ve been allowed to grow without restriction. Kai stares around the clearing lazily. Through the branches and the shadows, he can vaguely make out the entrance to what looks like some kind of shrine. There're a lot of shrines hidden away in the forest, many of which had been forgotten and abandoned when they became too difficult to maintain in the standard that shrines are typically held to. Kai assumes this must be one such shrine as it definitely doesn’t look like the one he and his family visit.

Stories of lonely ghosts, wandering spirits and forgotten gods are always told about such places and Kai remembers the rumours flying around his class. Chan had always told him that the stories were lies and that all the shrines are safe to visit and protected by the god they had worshipped. Keeping his eyes on the entrance, Kai is more inclined to believe the stories than whatever Chan had said.

Being so concentrated on the shrine itself, Kai doesn’t notice the stranger entering the clearing until he walks in front of his view of the shrine. Gasping a little in shock, Kai quickly hurries to hide behind the tree he’d been leaning against. His curiosity is still strong enough to let him peak around the edge of the trunk despite not wanting the man to notice him. The stranger is tall, slim and pale. His steps feel measured and each one he takes lands silently against the grass. Mainly sticking to the edge of the clearing and therefore staying in the shadows so Kai can’t see him in much detail, he walks slowly towards the shrine. The kimono he wears is a black one that fits him well. It looks sleek and expensive, so Kai assumes he’s from the palace. He doubts the man is here looking for him, it would be his parents or elder brother most likely, but he doesn’t think anyone would seriously begin searching until the sun started to set and things started to get dangerous. It’s easy to find one of the main paths again and Kai knows he’ll head back when he gets hungry. His anger has already worn away enough that he could probably go back now without too many protests.

The stranger stops a few metres back from the steps leading into the shrine and takes a deep enough breath that his shoulders rise and fall with the motion. Kai can’t look away, wanting to know who the person is and what he’s doing here keeps his attention rapt. As the stranger takes a few more deep breaths, his shoulders move in rhythm with his breath. On the fourth breath, he brings his hands together in front of him. Kai’s angle gives him an awkward view of the stranger, not quite side on but enough to see what he’s doing. The backs of the stranger’s hands brush together as he slowly raises them above his head on his next exhale. His movements are slow and precise and each match perfectly with his breath, it’s clear he’s experienced at this. Steadily, the moves begin to change and Kai, almost in shock, begins to realise he recognises some of the motions. They’re performed differently to what he is used to and in an order he doesn’t know at all but occasionally, steps from the dances he has learned in class blend into the stranger’s movements as well.

Kai can’t take his eyes off the way the stranger is moving. The moves he knows are performed in such a precise and perfect way that it’s practically captivating. Something about the way the stranger dances is so easily betraying the feeling behind each of his movements. The drag of hands from above his left shoulder across his chin and down to his hip show his longing, the press of his foot, first into the ground then against the inside of his other leg to finally end up behind him displays his sorrow. Each dance step reveals another emotion, none particularly happy until Kai realises he’s dancing for a lost love that he wishes could forgive him. Not one hundred percent sure how he knows it, Kai gasps with the realisation. How can such powerful emotion be conveyed through such seemingly simple steps?

Before he’s entirely aware of what he’s doing, Kai has left his hiding spot and he runs towards the stranger. Whilst his steps are muffled, he makes no attempt to quieten his approach so Kai isn’t surprised when the stranger stops and turns to look at him when Kai gets close.

“How do you make it look so fluid? Whenever I perform an open knee raise, I have to concentrate so much to not lose my balance that I end up looking stiff and I can’t link it properly with the shoulder roll and arm raise that follows it. You make it look so easy though. Please can you teach me?” The words rush out before Kai can stop to think about it and he looks up at the stranger with a mix of hope and shock in his eyes. Seemingly taken aback, the stranger’s eyebrows draw together.

“You were… watching me?” The man’s voice is soft and smooth, each word sounding deliberate and considered. At the question, Kai grows shy.

“It was an accident.” He mumbles, speaking at the ground. “I had run away from my dance teacher and when I found the clearing, I stopped to rest. I was over there.”

Kai turns and points over at the tree he’d been hiding behind, a light blush colouring his cheeks. When he turns back to the stranger, his expression has softened a little.

“Why did you run from your teacher?” Is the next question the man asks. Kai is quick to explain once again.

“My partner was behind on his counts, he’d messed up a couple of times. When I met the cue to draw together in the centre and he wasn’t there, my teacher told me I should have delayed myself to preserve the performance. But I did it right! He should have told Tadashi to work harder and make sure he’s on time.” Clearly indignant, Kai pouts, the hurt obviously still fresh. Seeing Kai’s expression, the stranger’s own face changes. A soft smile tugs at his lips.

“You are still young. You do not yet realise the importance of harmony. But maybe that is because you have yet to dance with someone harmonious to you.” The stranger’s word confuse Kai. He knows that harmony is something he should have. He’s been told over and over that to truly be the best dancer he can be, he must be harmonious with the music. Each movement the music makes, he must mirror and flow with. He’s never heard of being harmonious with another whilst dancing though.

Kai’s confusion must be evident on his face as the stranger’s smile widens when he studies Kai’s expression. A deep dimple creases one cheek when the stranger allows himself to grin. This seemingly meaningless feature endears Kai even more to the stranger.

“Then please can you teach me? I’ve never seen anyone dance as beautifully as you. I’m sure I’ll become the charm and pride of the palace if I can look even a tiny bit like you…” Kai trails off, hope tainting his words. The stranger sighs softly.

“I cannot teach you, I’m afraid. What you ask, I cannot show you. My dance betrays too much of my heart.” The stranger’s words are heavy, seemingly remorseful. Something hits in his voice though that rings true with Kai.

“But I cannot show my heart at all!” Kai practically pleads. “All I know is endless technique. I want to make people feel the way I felt when watching you.”

There’s a long pause as Kai can’t bring himself to look at the stranger’s face.

“Please.” Is all Kai says, voice barely above a whisper. A look of torment crosses the stranger’s face and Kai is suddenly nervous he’s crossed a line. Remembering what Chan has told him before about his tendency to push a little too hard when he wants something, he quickly looks up at the stranger. “I don’t want to upset you though. If dancing makes you sad, I don’t want you to be sad.”

There’s a brief look of surprise on the strangers face as if he wasn’t expecting Kai’s words. A slow change drifts over the strangers face, morphing into an expression Kai can’t quite understand. The silence eventually grows too much and Kai sighs in defeat.

“Well, I understand that I guess. I’m sorry for disturbing you.” Kai relents and bows deeply to the stranger as he’s been taught to do. Wondering if he’ll ever get to see the handsome stranger again, Kai turns and begins to walk back in the direction he had come from. He’s only taken about four or five steps before the soft voice of the stranger halts him in his tracks.

“I will teach you.” As always, the softly spoken words seem to have meaning packed behind them more than what they simply say. This time, they seem resolute as if it’s taken a lot of consideration for the stranger to voice them. “There are conditions to my accepting to teach you though,”

The stranger’s words make the smile on Kai’s face falter a little but he’s willing to try most things as long as he won’t get in trouble for them. He nods as the stranger pauses, as if he’s expecting a response.

“You must continue to attend your usual dance classes and strive to do as your teacher instructs you to do, even if it contradicts what I have taught you, even if it’s not what you believe to be right. You must tell no one of these lessons between us, not even those closest to you. No one can know of me beyond you.” Kai knows he should feel a little worried that no one will know where he is going but instead he feels a quiet surge of something akin to smugness. None of his friends or teachers will know just how special a teacher he has found and therefore, no one will be trying to take him away.

“I can do those things.” Kai confirms, eyes sparkling. Mirth decorates the stranger’s face as Kai exudes pure enthusiasm.

“Very well. We shall meet at moonrise. Do you know your way here? Or is there somewhere else that is closer to your home that you would prefer?” The stranger accents his words with a smile that gently dimples his cheek. It softens everything about his features and the small sliver of trepidation Kai had about the stranger, evaporates.

“There’s nowhere that will be as quiet as here. There would be a risk of someone finding us anywhere else. I can try to make it here to begin with and if it doesn’t work, we can find somewhere else.” Kai is smiling through his words.

“Very good. We will begin after your next class. But first, you must make sure to apologise to your teacher. I’m sure he will forgive you if you explain your thoughts to him.” Continuing in the even and slow tone as always, the stranger’s words do little to slow Kai’s racing heart. With a gentle smile, the stranger moves to leave. Having barely taken two steps, the stranger stops and turns back. “You must forgive me. I forgot to give you my name. You may call me Lay.”

Kai furrows his eyebrows. It’s an odd name that Kai has never heard before but when Kai examines Lay closely, a normal name probably wouldn’t fit him.

“My name is Kaito.” Kai bows deeply once again. “But almost everyone calls me Kai.” 

Looking uncertainly down and at his feet, Kai misses the genuine smile that decorates Lay’s face. 

“Very good Kai. I shall see you again tomorrow.” This time Lay turns to leave and heads into the trees without turning back. With a smile he can’t seem to shake, Kai runs from the clearing back towards his home. 

Before reaching his actual home, he diverts towards the studio. Luckily, the dance teacher is still there, residing in the small office. He’s perusing some papers on the desk, sipping on tea so strong Kai can practically taste it just from how overpowering the aroma is. The teacher’s eyebrows rise at the sight of Kai racing into the studio. Not giving the teacher time to speak, Kai bends into the lowest bow he can manage. 

“Please forgive my earlier outburst.” Kai practically pleads. “I was acting in frustration and didn’t allow myself time to think before I spoke. I know that teacher was right all along. I truly am sorry for my actions.” 

Using some of the longer and more polite words he knows, Kai does his best to make his apology appropriately sincere. He doesn’t dare look up from where he’s glued his gaze to his toes until his teacher speaks.

“Rise Kaito. In truth, I forgave your words soon after you spoke them. You put too much of your heart into that practice so that when you were not able to complete it as intended, it simply spilled out in whatever manner possible.” Kai straightens back up, sensing there was more to come. Trying to appear as humbled as possible, he keeps his eyes downcast. “What is harder to forgive is you running from my class into somewhere potentially dangerous. I could not have forgiven it if you had harmed yourself causing you to not be able to perform. However, seeing as you have apologised, I am allowing you to attend class as normal, The condition for your punishment is to be on clean up after class for ten days, is that clear?”

Kai bows again when the teacher finishes. It's a much lesser punishment than he anticipated he would receive.

“Thank you, teacher. I will do my best for you from now on.” After his words, he straightens and tries to hide the smile on his face. His teacher makes no such effort and his features crinkle with his smile.

“Very good Kaito. Now get yourself home. I’m sure your parents are worried for you.” With a wave of his hand, the teacher dismisses Kai. After another quick bob, Kai does as he’s told and heads home. The return to his parents goes much the same, with his mother quick to forgive him seeing as he’s not hurt and his father keen to chastise him for his foolishness. Kai takes his punishment in the form of no sweets for a little while and the instruction to head straight to bed. He does so with excitement bubbling under his skin about what tomorrow's lessons would bring.

When he wakes practically nothing would have been able to stop him from attending his lessons. His main class goes well. They practice the same four bars of the dance until Kai is sure he could do it in his sleep, which is lucky because the young boy playing the drum to help them keep rhythm eyelids are dropping shut anytime he’s not expected to keep a beat. Despite this, Kai flies through his steps putting as much effort in as possible to make up for his outburst yesterday. His teacher seems to take this as his apology being sincere and goes relatively easy on the cleaning side of things, simply making him sweep the floor once the lesson is over. Kai makes sure that his shoes are packed carefully and when everyone else has left, he slips from the practice room.

Finding the path is easier than he thought it would be. Despite Lay mentioning he would receive his lessons at moonrise, Kai heads straight to the clearing after his lesson. He starts by stretching out even more thoroughly than he would for a class or performance. The only performances he’s been a part of are the junior ones he’s done for two years, starting when he was eleven. Now he’s finally turned thirteen, he’s going to be able to perform more. He’s been desperate to finally show that he’s a strong enough dancer to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a renowned dancer by his own right.

He’s rolling his ankles when he becomes aware that someone else is there. Spinning around at the slight noise, he finds Lay leaning against one of the trees at the edge of the clearing. A similar set of black clothes hang beautifully draped over his frame and his feet are bare. Kai knows that most traditional dancers perform barefoot and it makes him feel a little foolish that he is wearing the thin slippers that newer dancers have taken to wearing.

“Don’t worry, the slippers are fine. I’ve just never worn them. Do whatever you feel most comfortable doing.” Lay’s words set Kai at ease but he still slips off the thin shoes.

“I want to learn from you in the best way so I’ll try to lose my slippers. If I find it too difficult, I may put them back on.” Kai softly replies and Lay lightly inclines his head in acknowledgement. Finishing up by bending to his toes, Kai finishes his stretches as elegantly as possible.

“I guess we shall start with you simply showing me what the performance you’re doing is.” Lay enters the clearing and gestures for Kai to simply begin and do his thing. He starts from the neutral position moving through each step carefully, trying to assure his steps are as accurate as he can make them. Lay remains impassively silent as Kai turns and focuses. At the climax of the piece, Kai ends with his forearm raised across his forehead, the other thrown out to his left side and he sharply closes his feet on what he hears as the final crescendo of the drum beat he’s been following in his head. Light applause sounds as Lay politely responds to Kai’s impromptu performance.

“You know your technique well, that much is blatantly obvious. Each position is accurate and in place in a manner even the greatest dancers would be proud of. And yet, they don’t tell the stories you want them to tell. I think you’re too caught in the notion that every step must be correct. Let me show you something.” Lay speaks evenly, stepping forward into Kai’s space a little, causing Kai to retreat. Mimicking what Kai had just shown him, Lay dances about six phrases of the routine. It’s technically perfect but Kai can tell something is missing from the dance. Each step has the effortless nature that he saw yesterday and Lay places everything perfectly but it looks more like he’s demonstrating rather than truly performing. Lay pauses briefly in his steps to turn back to Kai. “Now watch this version.”

Lay resets his position to where he started from before and begins again. Instantly, Kai notices the difference. Whilst the moves here have become something his teachers are more likely to scold him for, hands aren’t quite finishing some lines and his feet aren’t pointed at all the right points, Kai is swept into the story of the dance. He’s able to feel the true strength of the choreography and the power each step Lay takes truly has. As Lay finishes the second time just as he had before, Kai finds himself, jaw slack, applauding what he’d just seen. After Lay straightens and settles into a more comfortable position, their gazes meet and, unbidden, Kai feels himself blush.

“That was incredible. You’ve got such a balance with light and shade. I can’t imagine being able to dance like that.” Kai gushes his praise, unable to hold back. A patient smile sweeps onto Lay’s face at Kai’s reaction.

“Do you see what I was trying to show you though?” The question is simple in itself yet Kai isn’t sure exactly how to answer it.

“The first time you performed every individual move was as perfect as it could possibly be all by itself. It was like a masterclass on how to dance each step. But that was all it felt like. It felt more like you were showing how it was done rather than telling the story of the dance. The second time, it was the opposite. Some of the steps weren’t perfect but the story was so obvious and every feeling you wanted to show was conveyed practically perfectly.” Kai hesitates, unsure if he should go on when all he’s doing is throwing praise at Lay. Falling silent due to the nervousness, Kai looks down at his feet, his embarrassment tinting his ears pink.

“Do you know why it felt more emotional the second time?” Lay’s words try to gently prompt Kai into truly seeing what Lay had been trying to show him.

“Something about the fluidity maybe? Perhaps if I wasn’t so caught up in the steps, I wouldn’t notice where one stopped and the next one started.” Kai muses aloud. Lay nods in confirmation.

“That’s almost right. Being fluid is important but what is most important is balance. If you can balance the steps with the movement it takes to cross from one to the next, then you can truly tell the story.” Lay explains the final step Kai needs to grasp the idea as the younger boy nods his understanding. “Ok, here let me show you.”

And with that, Lay begins to teach him how to dance in the way he does.

Kai leaves the clearing sore from the repetition of steps and the motions between steps but he knows that nothing will stop him from coming back the next day just so he can learn more.

It’s easy to fall into a pattern from there. Kai wakes early, says his prayers and eats as much as he dares for breakfast. His normal lessons in literacy, calligraphy and arithmancy drag but he powers through them. More food then he’s off to his class. It’s quickly become clear that Kai is the best dancer amongst his peers and rumours begin to fly about the young boy who could bring you to tears with his dance alone. After class, he heads to the clearing and to the waiting teacher there. Lay sculpts him like clay and Kai learns and learns and learns, each day so precious to him.

Eventually, the yearly performance creeps closer. Talk of solos, duets and group routines flies around the classroom as Kai bandages his feet, focusing on strapping his ankles to avoid injury. He’d been working on jumps with Lay all last evening and Lay had been adamant Kai strap his feet whilst practicing to prevent too much shock on his joints. As much as he had stubbornly wanted to remain completely barefoot as Lay himself did, he knew that what Lay said was for his own good. He is still too nervous to dance without his slippers in class in case it raises questions, so he slides the soft material over his feet. They’re all part way through their stretches when the teacher walks into the studio. He’s holding the slip of paper that reveals who is doing what in the upcoming show. Nervousness bleeds into Kai’s limbs. He’s old enough now to potentially get one of the duet performances but it would certainly be rare to be awarded one of those positions. Slowly, their teacher reads through the names. Most of the dancers get simple roles in the group performances, which is expected of them seeing as they’re yet to reach the upper years and therefore, the upper class. Two of the other dancers get a higher role, but nothing close to a solo or duet performance. Regardless, it’s still something to be proud of at their age. Predictably, he leaves Kai until last. Most of the class has come to terms that Kai is arguably one of the best dancers in the school let alone their class so seem almost as excited to see where he ended up as Kai himself was.

“Now,” The teacher turns his focus on Kai. “For Kaito, he will perform a solo piece at the end of the show. The palace has requested to see something they have never seen before so we hope to give them that.”

The whole class including Kai freezes. A thirteen-year-old getting a solo is unheard of. A thirteen-year-old closing the show, when it’s traditionally given to the dancer wearing the black headband signalling he’s the best of the school, is impossible. Kai can’t believe that he’s the person they’ve chosen to break that tradition.

“Are you sure?” Kai asks carefully. He doesn’t want to seem ungrateful but it’s a little bit of a shock that he would get a solo before even reaching the upper class.

“Yes. The emperor himself has requested a new side of our performance and our hope is that this piece and your fresh face will achieve this.” The teacher offers what is supposed to be a reassuring smile but Kai realises he truly has no choice about whether to accept or not. Somehow, he stammers through an acceptance that he thinks sounds appreciative enough. Whatever he manages to choke out works as the teachers nods his confirmation and waves a hand at the door. Another older man walks in. Kai places him in his early twenties and therefore, close to graduation. The class turns on instinct and bows to him.

“Good day. My name is Tae. I’ve been a dancer at this school for many years. I’m here to help Kai learn and practice his solo.” Tae bows his head slightly and Kai scrambles to bow deeply back. He didn’t recognise Tae without the usual headband that marks him as one of the top five dancers of the school. “I won’t be performing this year due to an injury so I offered to teach you in my place.”

Kai is stunned a little speechless that Tae is going to be teaching him but after he finds his voice, he thanks the older dancer profusely. With a sharp clap of his hands, the teacher gets everyone starting to actually practice.

The lesson passes in a blur, Tae instructs in rapid fire and Kai has to really concentrate to memorise each step as they come. By the end of the lesson, he has a vague idea of the routine and he knows what he’s going to ask Lay to practice that evening. The dance is about a young man going off to war and how each day he pines for his lover back home and how the memory of his lover waiting for him motivates him to carry on. When the man returns, he finds his lover has left him for another and it ends with him in anguish. There’s a lot of emotion in the dance that he’ll want Lay’s careful eye to look over and help him make his movements truly link up with the feeling he wants to convey. As soon as he sees Lay that evening, he can’t stop the good news from spilling past his lips.

“I have a solo!” Excitement lights up Kai’s face and spreads into his words. “I’m sure I’m one of the youngest dancers ever to be granted a solo, I can’t quite believe it. They’re trying to please the palace.”

Lay’s answering smile is soft and patient, much like he himself has been. There’s a glimmer of something Kai can’t quite place in his eyes but easy praise falls from Lay’s tongue that brings heat to Kai’s cheeks.

“You deserve it. You’ve worked hard and improved a great deal. I’m sure it will be an unforgettable performance.” His dimple makes an appearance as he punctuates his words with a fond smile. “Now, I’m sure you want to show me the piece you’ll be performing…”

Trailing off with a slight smirk, Lay steps back and gestures for Kai to show him the routine. Kai does his best to recall everything and the rest of the evening is spent working on the routine.

The following months are much the same. Kai turns fourteen in January and Lay gifts him a small pendant on a leather cord. The metal is shaped to resemble the moon and Kai immediately ties the cord around his neck. There it remains, day and night, as Kai practices and grows ready. Rumours begin to fly that Kai might finally surpass his father and become one of the greatest dancers Japan has seen.

Before Kai has time to even get properly nervous, the night of the performance has arrived. He’d wanted to watch his friends perform but he’s too busy being dressed into his own costume to find time. They tie his hair back close to the nape of his neck and help him into his costume which, once fully assembled, weighs down against his skin despite the armour being considerably lighter than true armour. As he waits in the wings, they lower the mask onto his face. Not every performance requires a mask but seeing as the school is trying to disguise how young Kai is, they decided a mask would be best. Kai was a little disappointed as his face helps him convey all his emotions and Lay has always described it as one of the most powerful tools but Kai isn’t too put off so he aims to do his best despite it. From behind the mask, his sight is hindered. He’s barely able to see a few feet in front of him, let alone into the audience so any hope he had of seeing Lay is gone. He doesn’t even know if Lay will be here. Every time he had tried to summon his courage to ask if Lay would come and watch the performance, he’d found some excuse to avoid the topic. Now he regrets not being braver and giving him an invite. He feels the nerves rise through him but as the other dancers leave the stage and he hears the teacher announce him, they slowly melt away into his muscles. Breathing in the way Lay taught him to, he walks out to the centre of the stage.

There’s a moment of silence as the audience takes in his appearance and the atmosphere builds around them. Kai slightly lifts his left heel, showing that he’s ready for the music to start. The music begins steady and Kai lets the first few steps establish his balance and character. Then as the music sweeps into its first crescendo, he lets himself go. Muscle memory takes over and carries him from one step to another effortlessly. The arm thrown across his body, the high kick with his left leg, the way he jerks his head are all flawless. Staying with the beat is second nature and Kai gives himself over to the emotion of the dance that he should be feeling. Each step carries to the tips of his fingers and toes and, despite wearing the mask, his face morphs with each moment. The fight steps have him gritting his teeth and tensing his muscles, the grief drags him downwards until his body sags with the effort and the longing for his love has his reach fully extended. As the music draws towards its end, the tempo slows and Kai’s steps become more laboured with each drumbeat to show the true heartbreak of finding his love gone bleeds into his movements. There’s virtually perfect synchronisation between the final beat and the moment Kai’s knees hit the floor. His shoulders hunch over and his chin presses into his chest as he heaves breath into his lungs. The position displays the pure desolation and desperation perfectly and Kai doesn’t move until the applause filters into his ears. It rings in his head, louder than he’s ever heard before. As his surroundings phase back into his consciousness, he climbs back to his feet. Once his balance is back under his control, he folds himself into the deepest bow he can manage in his costume. Tears well in the corners of his eyes and Kai is grateful the mask hides them. A rush of thankfulness to everyone crashes into him but most especially to Lay for the months he’s spent teaching him. He can’t wait to find him tomorrow and finally tell him how thankful he is.

Kai manages to straighten without losing his balance and blinks away his tears. He leaves the stage in the same direction he walked on before following the entire school back to the stage. They bow as a collective before dispersing naturally from there. Kai’s parents find him first. His mother draws him into a hug with zero hesitation, the pride overriding any of the slight distance between them.

“Oh, Kai, you were astonishing.” His mother gushes, wiping tears from her eyes. She draws back to begin to help him out of his mask. When they finish receiving their praises, the dancers can return backstage to remove their costumes. “All of your practice has truly paid off.”

The compliments feel a little strange as he’s not used to getting them from his parents.

“I’m proud of you, son.” Are his father's only words but they mean more than anything else he could say. Kai thanks them both and bows to them in thanks as well. Before they’re able to say anything else, another person draws up to them. The complicated sokutai he wears with its intricate patterns reveal that Kai is being approached by the emperor. He drops into the lowest bow he can manage once again and his parents do the same. Trying to keep the disbelief off his face, Kai keeps his gaze angled slightly downwards in respect.

“Congratulations on your performance, young man.” The emperor’s voice is deep and rich. “You’ve done well to grow into such an impressive dancer at such a young age. Many of the audience around me were in tears thanks to you.”

A flush paints the top of Kai’s cheeks.

“Thank you, your imperial majesty. I owe my successes to my teachers.” Kai is as polite as he can possibly be, careful with each word.

“You have done very well. I await your next performance eagerly.” The emperor smiles to ease the shock of his words before moving away to speak with Kai’s teacher. Kai bows again and stares until the emperor is lost in the crowd completely. His parents and himself are slightly stunned. Quickly thanking his parents again, Kai runs backstage to finally take off the heavy costume. As he swaps back into his casual clothes, he grips the pendant hard and promises to be there perfectly on time to see Lay tomorrow. The rest of the evening flies by in a flurry of activity and praise Kai can’t seem to keep up with. He falls into bed and sleeps dreamlessly.

After a day of rest, Kai flies to his clearing and begins his usual stretches. Oddly, he manages to finish stretching himself out before Lay gets there. He’s never finished before but seeing as it’s been a slightly different day to what he normally experiences, he justifies that maybe it was different for Lay as well. Not really knowing what he should practice, Kai works on some of his basic skills like balance and tone. When he grows bored of that, he works on some simple steps from a lot of different pieces. He tries his best to imagine how Lay would perform each step. Taking his time to elongate into his extension moves and to tighten all the needed muscles for all the choreography, Kai can practically hear Lay’s advice despite the other’s absence. By the time it is truly growing properly dark, Kai has exhausted himself with his extra practice. Begrudgingly, Kai has to call it a night and head home.

Classes resume the next day. Tae has returned to his own practices and Kai is left in a strange limbo between excelling all his peers but not being old enough to move up to a higher class. His teacher quickly realises that the lesson is below Kai’s skill level and offers to get him progressed into the upper class early. Kai is grateful and nervous and keen to tell Lay the good news. Yet when he arrives in the clearing, it remains empty once again. Kai searches the nearby area, careful not to stray too far and get lost but he finds no sign of Lay anywhere. He’s hesitant to enter the disused shrine hidden in the shadows. Before he takes a step inside, he asks for permission to step upon the sacred ground. As he raises his foot to climb the first stair, a cold wind rushes through the clearing. It blows against Kai, ruffling his hair and clothes. Sensing that shows a bad omen, Kai retracts his foot back onto the solid ground. Resigning himself to not seeing Lay once again, he practices alone until it’s late again before returning home.

The story is much the same the next day and the next. Yet Kai keeps going to the clearing. He practices as if he can hear Lay’s voice in his ears, replaying in his head all the advice and demonstrations Lay had shown him in the past.

By the third week, Kai slowly starts to believe that he won’t be seeing Lay at the clearing. So he uses it to practice himself. One day he’ll be good enough that Lay will hear of him no matter where Lay has gone.

By the third month, Kai has moved up the upper class and is challenging for one of the five headbands showing he’s one of the top five students of the school.

By the third year, Kai’s name is everywhere when someone talks of dance or performance. He’s the youngest ever dancer to acquire a headband and is requested for a performance at least once a week.

When Kai becomes 21 years old, he wears the black headband that symbolises his position as the best dancer at the school. He’s summoned for performances at the palace and after the third such performance, the emperor invites him to stay permanently within the palace and graduate from the school he’d been a part of for many years With this comes many changes, the first being to choose his permanent musicians. He asks Chan to be his gagaku as Chan himself has a small amount of fame for his talent in music, the drum in particular. The singer that Kai eventually settles goes by Chen and they spend the days practicing together and the nights performing together.

Chen is shorter than Kai by a few inches, but he makes up for it with bundles of happy, infectious personality. He’s ridiculously popular with the girls of the palace due to a combination of sharp, handsome features, the mischievous glint in his eye and his unbelievable voice. One night, when the two of them have had slightly too much sake, Chen gently caresses Kai’s face. There’s the tone of confession in his voice in his voice when he explains how beautiful Kai is, how all the girls of the palace that vie for his attention are nothing compared to him.

In the darkness of the night, they fall together through the door of Kai’s room and onto his futon. Kai doesn’t want to admit, even to himself, that in the place of Chen’s kittenish smile and sharp cheekbones, he sees a full lower lip, soft eyes and a single deep dimple. When Chen rolls their hips together, Kai is flooded with unbidden thoughts and desires to know what difference Lay’s impeccable control and fluid motions would make. But Kai does his part. He whimpers Chen’s name against his skin, lets his tongue dart between his lips to tease and he truly shows Chen what a dancer’s hips and flexibility can do. When they both finally spill messily over flushed skin, Kai feels how cool the pendant trapped between them has remained. It fills Kai with conflicting emotions; guilt at having taken Chen to his bed, nervousness about what Lay would say if he found out but mostly a rush of hope. Lay must be out there somewhere waiting, Kai just needs to find him.

Nothing else happens between Kai and Chen because nothing gets the chance to. Chen is sent away from the palace two days later to perform solo at some other noble’s home. It’s practically an order from the emperor so they know Chen cannot deny the request. It’s sad to see him leave. Kai had genuinely grown to truly like the singer. They go through a few temporary singers until Soo joins them. Kai has never seen Chan so instantly enamoured by someone. He takes to looking skyward after each performance in the hope that Lay might know that he is still longing to see him.

~~~

“Yixing!” Sehun calls from his place at the edge of the precipice. “Your human is performing his mating ritual again!”

“For the last time Sehun,” Yixing says exasperatedly as he walks over to join him on the edge. “Not all dancing is a mating ritual.”

“Well it’s how I won Junmyeon over and persuaded him to come out of that stupid cave so he could fuck me instead.”

“I never said that yours wasn’t a mating ritual. Kai’s isn’t.” There’s a brief pause as Sehun seems to consider Yixing’s words.

“Then why does he whisper your silly human name as he comes? And why does he always wear your pendant? And why does he think of you when he’s with another man?” Sehun tilts his head as he speaks.

Yixing’s jaw is slack in shock. He’s only ever allowed himself to watch Kai when he was dancing, telling himself that it was ok to watch him perform as that is how a teacher would act. The truth was he feared that if he watched anymore, he would finally fall too deep in love that he wouldn’t be able to stay away. It wasn’t proper for Gods to fall in love with mortals. It usually ended messily. When Lay had left Kai, he had felt a spark of potential. Now as he stares at Sehun in shock, that spark feels like an inferno. Sehun seems to realise just what it is that he’s said and, in panic, turns to leave. Yixing grabs him by the arm in a vice-like grip.

“He what?!” Yixing questions but somehow he makes it sound like a threat.

“I thought you knew! I thought it was obvious! I kept him away from your old shrine in that clearing because I thought that you were going to sweep in one day and romance him like he very clearly wants you to!” Sehun does his best to plead his innocence, making himself smaller by curling in on himself. “You’re the god of the moon for fucks sake, what human wouldn’t love you?”

“One who clearly belongs in the sun like he does! I cannot take that away from him.” Yixing’s grip loosens as both gods turn to look back at Kai’s performance.

“He performs in the moonlight Yixing and he waits for you at midnight, the clearing still holding the residual heat from the day, bare toes with grass tickling between them-“ Sehun is cut off by a harsh slap across the face. Junmyeon stands before them, hand slowly lowering back to his side. A pout instantly decorates Sehun’s face as his hand goes to where he’s been struck.

“You know it’s impolite to see visions of people without their permission, Sehunnie.” Junmyeon chastises, still glowing slightly. It’s rare that Junmyeon visits Yixing, the history between the sun and the moon too difficult to easily forget. “Go to him Yixing. You’re drawn together as surely as any pairing between the gods. Go to him and if you must, bring him back with you.”

This time Sehun mirrors Yixing when his mouth falls open in shock.

“Make Kai… a god?” Yixing manages to force the words past his lips.

“There are many of us now and yet you remain lonely. You have taken the time to be alone and to be forgiven for any wrong doings. Go to him. Let yourself feel happiness again.” Junmyeon’s words are soft and Yixing feels tears in the corners of his eyes. “Though I cannot promise him solid identity here, they will refer to him as Iwai.”

The ‘they’ Junmyeon refers to means the humans that Kai will be leaving behind. Yixing knows what he will have to tell Kai finally.

“Thank you Junmyeon. I have waited a long time to hear those words.” Yixing breaks into a small smile of disbelief. It’s in vast contrast to the huge grin Sehun wears as he crushes the three of them together into a hug. Yixing and Junmyeon thankfully both laugh with him. After they break apart, Junmyeon leads Sehun away with an indulgent smile, leaving Yixing to start planning his reunion with Kai.

~~~

A week or two after his latest main performance, Kai is invited back to his school to see how all the students are getting on. It’s not uncommon for former students to return to the school from time to time. Kai accepts the invite graciously, informing the emperor that he may be away for some time to visit the school. He is granted permission instantly, the emperor having a soft spot for Kai. Kai’s looking forward to the break and the chance to see his family again. Making sure to arrive early in the morning, Kai enjoys breakfast with his parents. Talk flips between mundane topics to exciting ones then back again and Kai slowly feels some of his stress melt away. The first class of the day is for the youngest class, the students aged up to ten or eleven. It’s revitalising to see the kids approach the dance and the steps with such joy. By the end, he can’t help but join in with the cheerful steps, the children clapping as he takes a turn with all of them.

It sends him into the next class feeling lighter than he has in a long time. The ‘lower’ class as it’s called is named as such sorely for the lower age range. It’s amazing to think that this level is where he met Lay and performed his first solo. Most of the students move to the upper class by 16 or 17 or they move into doing something different if dancing is longer where they belong. There’s a lot of focus on technique in the lower class but they get the chance to show off with a little group performance at the end. Two dancers name Jie and Ren stand out and Kai makes sure to mention them to their teacher.

The upper class is where Kai is most nervous. The focus is performance, an area that Kai learnt from Lay more than anyone else. He summons a few pieces of advice Tae had told him before his first performance that he thinks are safe and helpful before saying something about practice being most important. As well as the regular students, three of the top five are also in attendance: Yuta, Tenshi and Seiichi. Kai is impressed with all three and wishes them luck in the future.

After the lessons are over, Kai takes to wandering. His feet guide him in a direction he knows far too well but he doesn’t fight it and stop. By the time he’s fully aware of where he is, he stands back in the clearing where he spent all those hours with Lay and then all those hours without him. The moon hangs low in the sky as Kai smiles and begins his stretches.

“One more dance here, for old times sake.” He thinks aloud to himself as he eases any tension from his muscles. It’s all too easy to fall back into the choreography from his very first solo performance and it feels like a poignant story for how much he’s been pining for Lay. He’s about halfway through the routine when a voice interrupts his flow.

“You make it look so easy. Please can you teach me?” Kai turns to the voice, a sob already half formed in his throat at how well he knows it, how many times he’s replayed it in his head, desperate for the day he’ll hear it again. Stood by the tree he had hidden behind that very first time, is Lay. He looks identical to the way Kai remembers him to look, completely unchanged by time, which some small part of Kai’s brain knows is impossible but he’s too shocked to process it all properly. Dropping to his knees, the dam breaks and his body heaves with his sobs. Lay is at his side in a moment, falling to his own knees. Throwing his arms around Kai, Lay pulls him in and rests Kai’s head onto his shoulder. Tears soak the black kimono as Kai simply clings to Lay, letting the sadness and the joy bleed out of him. They remain like that for a while longer until Kai’s tears finally dry.

“I have a lot of explaining to do.” Is all Lay says when Kai draws back. Kai swings a feeble hand at him, lightly connecting with the other’s arm.

“Yes, yes you do.” Kai sniffles and wipes his eyes with his sleeve. When he seems to have regained a bit of his composure, Lay gently guides him to his feet.

“Come. Let me show you.” Holding his hand, Lay leads Kai to the shrine. A little bewildered by Lay’s sudden reappearance, Kai allows himself to be led easily over to the entrance. Lay takes easy steps up the stairs into the shrine, Kai trailing a little. “You don’t need to be wary anymore. Sehun is no longer stopping people from coming here.”

“Who is Sehun?” Kai asks, finding his voice raspy from crying.

“You will know him better as Uzume.” Lay says simply, like announcing he knows a god is very little to be concerned about. Kai freezes in place.

“Uzume as in the god?” Kai’s eyes are wide with trepidation. If Lay has been cursed by gods, it would surely explain why he had been away.

“Yes, although Sehun is his true name, Uzume is the name your people know him by. He doesn’t mind though, says it’s a pretty choice.” Lay has an easy tone to his voice that makes Kai question his earlier guess of Lay being cursed. “Sehun has been one of few friends I’ve had since my betrayal.”

“Betrayal?” Kai is desperately trying to keep up. “How can you be friends with a god?”

“Because I am one also. This was a shrine to me, before the betrayal. Before my exile. I used to come here and dance before it to preserve it. I once knew the man who maintained it before he fell to illness.” Lay meets Kai’s wide eyes with his own calm ones. Slowly, in the shadows of the shrine with the moonlight breaking through, Lay’s appearance begins to change. The black kimono changes to one of liquid silver, translucent in the light. Lay maintains the pale complexion and mostly black hair except for two pure silver streaks that fall either side from his forehead. A sparkle of pure moonlight ignites in his eyes and Kai is suddenly aware of who he is now staring at.

Tsukuyomi, God of the Moon.

He falls immediately to his knees in a bow so deep his forehead presses into the floorboards of the shrine.

“I am blessed by your presence.” Kai announces into the floor. A cool breeze caresses his hair, replaced by the feel of lips pressing to the crown of his head. After they retract, Kai rises back up. Tsukuyomi has joined him on the floor on his knees. Before Kai can stop him, Tsukuyomi has lowered his own forehead to the floor.

“I am blessed by your existence.” Tsukuyomi’s words reverberate in Kai’s chest. Tsukuyomi raises back up as well. “You hold my heart with yours, Kai. You are where I am supposed to be.”

Tears immediately spring into Kai’s eyes. How is it possible that not only is Lay one of the most powerful gods in existence but also returns the feeling Kai has felt so one-sidedly these many years.

“You’re Tsukuyomi. And you love me? As I love you?” Disbelief echoes in Kai’s words.

“My true name is Yixing but yes, you will have known me as Tsukuyomi. Can you forgive my misdoings? I never believed myself allowed to visit you when I felt so strongly for you. I did not know you echoed my sentiment and my desires. Will you walk by my side?” Yixing confesses from his place on the floor. A small aura of moonlight envelopes him and when he reaches a hand for Kai to take, the moonlight reaches for him too. Truly, Kai doesn’t need to think. He knows his place is by Yixing’s side regardless of who he may truly be. He has known this for many years.

“Yes.” His voice is barely above a whisper but he has never felt more sure of his decision. Laying his hand into Yixing’s outstretched one, he feels the soft, cool touch of the moonlight surround him. Yixing presses his lips to the back of Kai’s knuckles and Kai feels a rush through his whole body. It feels like something has replaced the air in his lungs with ice and fire at the same time. As if on instinct, he tries to gasp for air, but he finds it brings no relief anymore. Instead, his body sighs and relaxes as the moonlight brushes over him and as the cool air around him caresses against his skin. He’s acutely aware of everything around him, more so than he ever thought possible. Taking another breath comes easier and by the fifth breath, it’s normal again. He knows he doesn’t need it but it’s comforting to have the habit back. When he looks at Yixing, he knows something has changed. Yixing is impossibly more beautiful, radiating from the inside with a soft silver light.

“You’re the same, you know? You glow as well now.” Yixing says, a smile playing at his lips. Excitedly, Kai looks for something moderately reflective in which to see himself. Yixing gestures to the mirrors on either side of the main altar and Kai moves slowly until he’s centred in one of them. He gasps when he sees himself. His hair has lost it’s usually deep black sheen and now glistens like the metal of his pendant. Within his eyes, he sees the same twinkle of moonlight found in Yixing’s but other than those few changes, nothing else physical has happened. The stress is gone from his features though, there’s a balance to his soul now that hadn’t been there before. He turns back to Yixing with a pure smile on his face and Yixing climbs to his feet.

Their embrace is slow and gentle. It feels like home to both of them. But Kai becomes suddenly aware that he still has a mortal life to live.

“I can’t just disappear though; I still have to go back to the palace.” Kai worries as he draws back from Yixing. An indulgent smile pulls at Yixing’s lips.

“I know. You must complete your performances. But this time, I will be there to watch, and I will be waiting for you when you’re finished.” Yixing’s words are everything Kai has longed to hear. “Maybe one day, we can even perform together.”

Hope ignites in Kai’s chest and he can’t wait for the day that it becomes true.

Heading back to the palace is a strange experience. Chan and Soo are waiting for him and welcome him back, but he feels the distance his new godhood has created abruptly. When he proclaims tiredness, they understand and let him retire to his rooms where he finds Yixing waiting for him. It hits Kai all over again that he no longer has to long for Yixing, that’s he’s always going to be here for him.

As he performs for the next few months, more rumours spread and more talk ignites as Kai performs more love stories now then before. Many women like to believe he dances for them. Others think it is purely for entertainment or the performance of a ceremony. But Kai dances solely for the god that taught him how to. 

And when he returns to that god after each performance, he finds himself forever grateful that he ran to that clearing, forever grateful that he did not run from the stranger, forever grateful that he was true to his heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh, I hope you enjoyed it!  
> I did a lot of research into this story regarding the Japanese Gods, the dancing that Kai would be performing, the music he would be dancing to and such. However, regardless of how many details I tried to get right, there is the possibility I made mistakes so I ask for your forgiveness if you find them.  
> As always, thank you all for reading! :3


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